I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize
