And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
