It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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