By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
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