my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
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