And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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