how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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