Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Randomize
