Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(309): View more from Illinois

So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend

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(907): View more from Alaska

She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex

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(908): View more from New Jersey

I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.

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(952): View more from Minnesota

Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?

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(276): View more from Virginia

They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?

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(301): View more from Maryland

Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.

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(607): View more from New York

Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.

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(252): View more from North Carolina

So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.

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(206): View more from Washington

So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.

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