"it" just moved
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize