I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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