well you can't waste a boner
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
