you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
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