sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
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