Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
