Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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