C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
