I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
it's like iHOP with fire
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
