so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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