I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
vagina is talking i cant
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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