Pants 0. Shit 1.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
