I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
