don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
