i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
