Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
