I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
fuck your aforementioned shoe
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
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