His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
