i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
