i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
