My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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