So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
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