you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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