just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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