So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
