she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Randomize
