last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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