Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
