Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Randomize
