yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
