I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
