i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize
