so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Randomize
