Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
