a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
