**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
