he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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