I love black thongs
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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