He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I'm way too hungover for life right now
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
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