Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
