Please, let me fuck your mom
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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