I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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