Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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