you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Randomize
