Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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