Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Randomize
