So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
