Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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