You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
