i permit you to call me
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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