i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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