IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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