My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
