I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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